My Zombie Apocalypse Vegas Slut Bag (Farm Girl Version)

Okay, before you panic and think I've gone totally off the deep end with the post title, let me explain. That comes from a show called Bunheads, which was made by the same person who created Gilmore Girls, but never reached the same level of popularity. In it, a Vegas showgirl  marries a man from a small coastal town on a whim and travels back with him to his home town. Less than a week into their marriage, he is killed in a freak car accident, and rather than return to Vegas, she opts to stay and teach at her mother in law's dance studio. The fact that is was cancelled is completely beyond me, but no one bothered to ask for my opinion. Moving on, though really I'm still not over it, especially since it ended on a cliff hanger.

In one episode, she pulls out a bag which she calls her "Zombie Apocalypse Vegas Slut Bag", which she says would help her survive anything from Vegas to the Zombie Apocalypse. I feel that every woman needs a survival kit of sorts, so I thought I'd tell you what should go into that of a farmer's granddaughter.

1. A small memento, to always remind her who she is. 
2. A good pair of backup socks. Blisters=bad, and if she's running from anything, it's probably a good idea to have them. 
3. A shotgun, not so much to protect herself, but her animals. 
4. A lighter, or matches, in case the need for fire arises.
5. Hair ties. It's not a vanity thing. She can't stand to have hair in her face and shaving it, while appealing at times, on the whole sounds like it might be cold. 
6. A hoof pick. Every horse woman knows the power of a hoof pick.
7. Vet wrap. This works as an ace wrap and as bandaids. Just in case of injury. 
8. A comfortable pillow. A girl has to sleep. 
9. Duct tape. Essential for the farm life. 
10. A really sturdy pair of gloves. Ones that will protect her hands from briars, baling twine, and all other essentials. 
11. A baseball cap. Cowboy hats are over the top in 99% of cases. She lives in a baseball cap.
12. Baling twine. In the farm world, if she has a roll of duct tape and a length of baling twine, she can fix just about anything. 
13. A broken in pair of jeans. Dirt optional. 
14. A good knife. Well cared for and sharpened. 
15. A pad of blank paper, just in case she needs to write something down. 
16. A flashlight, to see through the dark nights and early mornings. 
17. A good camera, to preserve the moments. 
18. A string of pearls, to appropriately dress up any look. 
19. Hot sauce to keep things spicy. 
20. A good book for when she has a few minutes of down time. 
21. A helmet. Because a farmer's granddaughter guards her head and her heart. 
22. A good leather cleaner, for keeping her tools in good repair. 
23. A few peppermints for her favorite horse. 
24. An awesome sports bra. Support is no joke. 
25. Fly spray to keep bugs away from herself and her horse. 
26. A homemade quilt, stitched with love. 
27. The knowledge that she is enough, that what she is doing is worth the trouble, and that those that matter love her unconditionally. 

What would be in your Zombie Apocalypse Vegas Slut Bag? 

Forget Being a Princess, I Want to Be a Farmer

Above is one of my favorite pictures from when I was little. A few things catch my attention. My hair is simply cut, I am on a green tractor, there is definitely mud in the vicinity, and those cows were not ones found at a petting zoo, but on my great-grandfather's farm. There is also an obvious joy in my eyes.

Fast forward about 20 years, and I am typing no more than 200 yards from that spot. I am sitting in the trailer my parents brought me home from the hospital to. The furniture is made from heavy duty wood that is scarred from many years of love. Two twin sized fitted sheets cover the circa 1970 couch cushions. From the living room windows I can see my grandparent's house (a mere 10 feet away) on one side, and my grandfather's garden on the other. This is home, and this is where I truly fit and am most myself.

The last six years have not been easy. I spent four years at Virginia Tech, which were certainly valuable, but perhaps not what I had hoped them to be. I failed to complete one of the two majors I set out to, which is something that I regret, but was a necessary sacrifice at the time. I then spent two years getting my M.Ed. in Special Education and working at a school for students with significant behavioral issues.

Somewhere in this mess and mayhem, I think I lost myself. I stopped doing many of the things that made me who I was. I stopped riding almost entirely. I told myself I didn't have time to read for pleasure, and while I did still pick up a book, it lacked the enthusiasm I had for it in high school. My personal care in terms of nutrition and fitness has been erratic at best. Perhaps worst of all, I stopped doing volunteer work. My focus has been lacking to say the least.

Six months ago, Brad and I finished renovating my grandparent's old trailer and moved back onto family land. We got our first dog, Sage, in October, and Kona came by surprise a month later. I started making friends and socializing again when I started working at BES, a small school in a rural community. Slowly but surely, I have started to feel more like myself. Blogging has definitely helped. However, I still feel as if I had a long way to go. I have set many small and medium goals for 2015, but the biggest one is simply to rediscover myself, love myself and reclaim a sense of purpose in my life.

In the last three weeks I have read, eaten well, exercised daily, and allowed my imagination to flow in a way I had forgotten it could. In that short time, the noise in my head has cleared to reveal a much clearer picture of what I want in my life.

Every nice day we have, I walk one or both of the dogs around the hayfield adjacent to our home. It is enormous, sloping, and makes a good long trek for  two very high energy breeds. At the highest point, I can see most of my parent's and grandparents land. The majority of it has been largely untouched by any farming other than baling hay or grazing cattle or horses for the last 40 years. Within it I see possibility for three of my favorite things: family, farming and food.

While the details are still hazy, I think I'm finally figuring it out. I want to farm this land, raise my family on it, and use it to teach the world. The very thought fills me with a joy like no other.

If you search for the typical photos of me as a little girl dressed as a princess, you will find them. But they are not nearly as numerous as the ones of me in overalls and surrounded by some form of livestock. Maybe that tiny little girl has something to teach me. I think she knew what I should be when I grow up: a farmer doing good things with family land.

27 Ways to Feel Energized and Uplifted

Last Valentine's Day, which we spent shoveling snow for a friend and sledding. Talk about energizing!

I don't know about you, but this is the time of year where I have to fight not to become couch potato girl. It's gross, it's been cold for far too long, and there's either been too much or not enough snow. Plus the holidays are over, the days don't seem to be getting any longer anytime soon and most people are starting to kick their New Year's Resolutions to the curb. It's no wonder January is considered by the large majority to be the most depressing month of the year.

I'm desperately looking for ways to stop myself from going into hibernation. Here are 27 things I am doing to try to stay energized and uplifted while I wait for spring. 52 days, just in case you were wondering.

1. Stick with it. Whatever your resolution was, stick to it and find a small way to reward yourself for doing so. 
2. Plan your garden and look into ordering seeds. Not only will this give you something to look forward to, but it also means you won't miss starting plants you want to have this year. 
3. Be careful about how to talk to yourself. If people ask how you are and your go to response is, "I'm tired," then that's how you're going to feel. 
4. Unplug. Find something to do with your time that isn't staring at a screen. 
5. Fit a little fun into every day. Watch a silly Youtube video, dance, or meet up with a friend. 
6. Have a ritual at the end of the night that leaves you feeling peaceful. There is a "no television in the bedroom" rule at my house. It can interrupt your sleeps cycle and you're more likely to stay up longer. At the end of the day, I write down 5 good things and then read until I fall asleep. 
7. Keep upbeat or relaxing music on, particularly on dreary days. 
8. If gardening doesn't sound like your cup of tea, or if you need more than that, start looking into outdoor events in the spring. Put a few on your calendar. 
9. On the rare occasion there is a nice day, get outside!
10. Make sure you're eating a healthy and well balanced diet with lots of whole foods. 
11. Stay hydrated. 
12. Avoid toxic people. There are people that are so negative that its impossible to avoid being worn down by them. Stay far away. And if you can't then keep your interactions brief and find something super uplifting to do after. Also, don't be one of these people. Frankly, they suck. 
13. Make your worries silly. I started doing this a lot after I read about it in a magazine. Let's say you're worried because you're about to have a performance review at work. Take it to the extreme until it just becomes laughable. "I'm going to get a bad review." "I'm going to lose my job." "My family will have to leave our home and become a band of nomads and use leaves for toilet paper." Make it so crazy you find it funny. 
14. Reframe negative thoughts into more positive ones. "I have to go to a staff meeting after work," becomes, "I get to sit with people who have similar goals, and miss 5 o'clock traffic." This is one of my downfalls, but I'm working on it. 
15. Don't try to be constantly upbeat, that's exhausting. Instead allow yourself to be frustrated, but put a cap on it. Think, "I'm going to be mad for 10 more minutes, and then I'm going to distract myself with [insert fun activity here]."
16. Write. It doesn't even have to be about anything, just let your thoughts flow onto paper for a fe minutes. 
17. Stay warm. There's a reason we refer to people being "frigid" or "giving a cold shoulder." We see cold as negative. If you are cold, find a way to warm up. 
18. Celebrate what makes you awesome. 
19. Surround yourself with a scent you love. 
20. Cook something you know you make well and share it with others. My grandmother telling me she enjoyed my soup last week made my day. 
21. Cross something, no matter how small, off your to-do list. 
22. Dress in bright colors. I don't know why but this always makes me feel better. Or just wear your favorite outfit. 
23. Commit a random act of kindness for someone else. 
24. Go on a fun date with your spouse or significant other. Or, if your single, spend time with your best friend. 
25. Eat something spicy. For some reason this gives me a little more pep in my step. I don't know if there's research to back it up, just that it helps me. 
26. Read or listen to a book. I started on a mission to read 100 books this year. I've finished five and am working on two more (one audio, one print). I never realized how much happier and uplifted reading made me until I stopped and then restarted doing it. 
27. Try something new. I don't care what it is, but do something that is totally unique to you in terms of experiences. 

How are you fighting the January funk. Tell me about it!

Road Trip to Raleigh/Durham

Not the best picture, but what do you expect on a camera phone in a dark theatre. 

Instead of giving each other Christmas gifts this year, my husband and I opted to spend the money we would have spent on a road trip to Raleigh to spend a weekend together, and best of all to see Wicked. It was amazing!

I've spent a lot of time in the Raleigh area over the last few years. Throughout high school and college I was very involved with showing Morgan horses. Since there aren't many Morgans in Virginia, and quite a few Morgan enthusiasts in the Raleigh, Durham and Chapel Hill area, we spent a lot of time down there. While I'd never want to live there, there's a sort of nostalgic homeyness to the place. This trip we did enjoyed some old favorites, and tried a lot of new things as well.

Whenever we go to Raleigh, we stay at the Country Inns and Suites near the airport. It's not overly expensive, its close to everything and it's clean. The one downside is that you do have planes going overhead continuously. Since I grew up a mile from an airport, I barely notice. There's also free continental breakfast that is actually pretty good.

We ordered Chinese food in from a place called Ping Pong Cafe. A little cheesy, but their sweet and sour shrimp is very good. Delivery is a little slow, but it was Friday night. Definitely very affordable and you get a decent bang for your buck.

It was a little more exciting than usual, as another hotel guest (a preteen boy that was there as part of a basketball trip and probably lacking proper supervision) managed to burn something in their microwave and set off the fire alarm. No harm done, just a bit of loud excitement.

It was exciting enough for the fire department to get called.

Before seeing Wicked on Saturday, we ate at The Mellow Mushroom. I know it's a chain, but since I've never been to one it was all new to me. I tried their Bayou pizza, which had shrimp, sausage and blue cheese. It was really good, but needed just a little more spice to put it into the "great" category. My notoriously picky husband (although he's getting better) tried a calzone for the first time and like it well enough that we're going to try to make our own for "New Food Friday." 

We then went and saw Wicked, which needs it's own post (and there will be a post) just to tell how awesome it was. It was at the Durham Performing Arts Center, which is a truly awesome place. I highly recommend it for other shows. The seats are comfortable, and if you sit in the front row of the balcony, the seats are reasonable priced and still manage to accommodate my husband's 6'3" frame. 

For dinner we ended up going to a place called Firebirds for dinner. The food was really good (we just had burgers, which is what we order most frequently; we're something of connoisseurs), and the service was fabulous. I had had an unfortunate run in with the hotel shampoo, which contained avocados and was breaking out in hives. Not only did the manager track down some Benedryl for me, but she also came to our table personally to ensure I didn't need any additional accommodations to enjoy my meal. Our server was polite, courteous and attentive throughout and we had a lovely time. 

We did miss a few of our favorites on this trip, however. Pizza Inn, although it is a chain, is still has some of the best pizza out there. If you're feeling adventurous, go and order a beef and green olive pizza. You will not be sorry. I also recommend taking a trip to the Raleigh State Fairgrounds if any of the equine events catch your fancy. It's a great place to watch a variety of different horse events. 

48 Days of Feminism: A Subtle Way to Support Victims of Violence

If you're a regular reader, then you know earlier this week I published a post about my sister being assaulted by a classmate. When I hear about all the other horrible things that other women have been through, I almost feel guilty. When compared with broken bones, repeated sexual assaults, and women living their lives in an endless cycle of violence, her story seems like small potatoes. Yet I know how hard it was for her, even with all the support. However, she has told me that the support she got made it easier.

The statistics are against us. Here are some statistics from safehorizons.org:

• 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence sometime in her lifetime. 
• More than 4 million women will experience either physical or sexual assault at the hands of their partner. 
• Women ages 20-24 are at the greatest risk.
• Most incidents are NEVER reported. 

There was very little I could do for my sister when she was dealing with the aftermath of her attack. She was more than 5,000 miles away in Poland. She wasn't set to be home for another two months. I couldn't hop a plane, at least not practically, since I had limited funds, no passport and a job. And there was only so much I could post online since it was an ongoing hearing process. Daily Facebook messages were an option, but they didn't feel like enough.

When this happened, Ally was 48 days from coming home. So every day I would post the count, and a girl power quote. I never tagged her and kept it very vague. But she knew to look for it, and I'd like to believe it helped her.

What if every woman in her situation or a similar situation got that level of support. Whether it was how long her assailant went to trial or until she could stop being near him or come home, what if every day until she felt safe, her friends and family sent her a tiny dose of empowerment? Would more incidents get reported? Would more women have the courage to leave their situations and stand up to their abusers? I don't know for sure, but would it hurt anything to try? I challenge you. If you know someone currently facing violence or dealing with the aftermath, you can do something.

Debt Free Bucket List

Currently my husband andI are following Dave Ramsey's plan to live a debt free life. It's going pretty well, and I highly recommend his book "Total Money Makeover." Last year we paid down a little over $20,000 last year alone. I'm not saying it was easy. We've given up a lot, but on the other hand, it's made our marriage better, reduced one significant area of my anxiety and I feel like we get to do more things without feeling guilty about it. For example, we have $40 allotted for entertainment every month. I almost feel like we have to spend it, and we almost allays use it for date nights, or things to do together at home.

There are times when I get frustrated, however, one of Dave Ramsey's quotes is "Do today what others won't, so tomorrow you can live the way other's can't." So on the days when I feel like I've given up all my financial flexibility and just want to scream, I make a list in my head of all the things Brad and I will  do once we don't have the debt monkey on our backs.

1. Build a house. Which, yes, will put us back into debt, but at that point it will be the ONLY debt we have, allowing us to pay it off in less than 15 years. 
2. Have children. We keep getting told we'll change our minds on this one, and I'm not saying that it's completely impossible. But when we consider how much more we'll be able to give our kids if we don't have debt, it's a lot easier.
3. Travel internationally. We've been able to budget for a few smaller getaways, but once we pay off debt, we want to go more places. 
4. A new horse for me. I miss showing horses more than anything else. If we're debt free, I should be able to compete again. 
5. Pursue being self employed. I'm working on it on a smaller level right now, through my craft business and my blog, but I would like to be able to chase this dream on a more intense level. 
6. Have more parties and get togethers with friends. What's the point of having a lot if you can't share it. 
7. Cook more often with high quality ingredients. I am A Farmer's Granddaughter, and we do fairly well, particularly in the summer, when we get tons of produce for free. However, once we're debt free, we can increase our grocery budget and buy better ingredients. 
8. Take classes. There are so many more things that both of us want to learn. 
9. Either build a state of the art home gym, or invest in a very good gym membership. 
10. Build Brad a workshop where his imagination and capable hands can create. 
11. Invest in a variety of crafting tools for myself. 
12. Build our dream barn. 
13. Work to turn our farm into a teaching facility, where we can use agriculture and animals to teach about farming and about life skills. 
14. Invest in some rental properties that we can use as a secondary source of income. 
15. Purchase our dream vehicles, gently used and paid for with cash. 
16. Buy a new horse trailer.
17. Give people the perfect gifts, regardless of cost. Again, what is the point of having a lot if you don't share it?
18. Support a wide variety of charities we believe in. 
19. Turn our backyard into a true paradise.
20. Leave good servers the kind of tip where they take a picture and post it on Facebook. This is where we both started. We'd like to pay it forward.

I highly recommend everyone try this plan. You can't lose much, and what you gain is worth far more than money. 

The First Few Books of the New Year: A Brief Overview

I started this mission to read 100 books this year, and I think I'm doing pretty well so far. Two down and two in progress, thanks, in part to audiobooks. I even found a new app, called Hoopla, that allows you to borrow audiobooks from your local library for free and download them to your phone. So far they have 10 of the books on my list. Money saved and easier reading gained. Sweet! Here's what I've read or am in the process of reading so far:

1. Pride and Prejudice. I'd never read this before, and I really am yet to meet any literature from this era I'm a huge fan of. But I listened to it on audiobook, and while it wasn't my favorite thing in the world, it certainly had a few points of interest and humor. I'm glad to have experienced it, but I don't think it's going to make the top 10 list for books I read in 2015. 
   
2. The Dark Side of Disney. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but this wasn't it. It was essentially a guidebook for getting deals that, while not illegal, were somewhat questionable. There were some bits about seeing parts of Disney that are generally off limits to tourists, as well as the mention of drugs and which rides you should try high. On the whole it was kind of trashy and I wasn't impressed, although it does have me wanting to plan a Disney vacation. 
   
3. The Secret History of Wonder Woman. This has been my favorite so far. It give the history of Wonder Woman's creator, his connection to the feminist movement, and the unique lifestyle he lived behind closed doors. Well written and thorough, this helps me appreciate my favorite super hero on an even deeper level. 
   
4. Black Beauty. I think the last time I read this was in middle school. Reading it as an adult, I appreciate even more that Sewell was attempting to give animals a voice and encourage their fair treatment. 

So, 4 (sort of) down, 96 to go. I think I can, I think I can...