1) Be Hailey. Who hasn't, at one point or another, done something out of their true nature to please others. A happiness project is about pleasing yourself. One of my favorite quotes from the book was, "You can choose what you do, but you can't choose what you like to do." Making yourself do something because it's "supposed" to make you happy is kind of like eating lobster, when what you'd rather have is a burger. Unsatisfying, wasteful and often a poor use of money.
2) This too shall pass. My grandfather used to say this all the time, and it was what got me through the pain spikes before they got my CPS under control. Its also kept me from getting too bogged down by a difficult situation. I have plans for a tattoo with this quote in the not too distant future.
3) Focus on pleasing yourself. Ask "what would I do if I wasn't afraid?" This is very similar to commandment one, but goes slightly beyond it, in that it works to remove me from the fear of failure and judgement, as long as what I am pursuing is something that makes me happy.
4) Be nice, love well and often. I can, at times, be quick to anger and slow to forgive. I also tend to take a long time to trust people fully. I feel that being nice and approaching others with an attitude of love will help me to be more satisfied with my life overall.
5) Write it down. Something about writing things down makes them more real to me. I'm more likely to complete tasks, stick to it or remember it if I write it down. It's a big part of why I started this blog.
6) Act how I want to feel. Also known as "fake it til you make it." So even if I'm not happy at that moment, putting on a smile and sucking it up is much more likely to lead to long term happiness then if I stew.
7) Take pride in the process as well as the results. Some days I think that if I could wave a magic wand and be completely debt free, living in my dream home (which my husband, Brad and I have the plans picked out for), twenty pounds lighter and working my perfect job I would. But if I did that, think of all I'd miss out on. I would have given up all the nights Brad and I got creative with dinner, just so we didn't have to spend any more money. I'd be skipping all strange freebie dates we have yet to plan so we could have fun on the cheap. I'd never get to experience the thrill of seeing all the small steps that of into building your dream house, and adding all the touches that make it home. I'd have lost out on the small victories that go into working towards your dream body. And I'd miss tons of learning opportunity. Enjoying the ride is often the best part of getting there.
8) Stop comparing yourself to others. I see my friends' babies, six packs, and job promotions on Facebook and I can't help but be a little jealous. But those same friends could just as easily be jealous of the freedom I have, the chocolate desserts I make and the job I have. I need to be good enough for me and no one else.
9) Accept failures along with success. Without failure, success would not be appreciated. Remember the kid in elementary school who always got As and was indifferent to it? If you don't, it was you and the experience wasn't something you got a great deal of joy. If you do, you're like the other 99% of the population, and because of your failures, your victories are that much sweeter.
10) Be reasonable in what I expect of myself and others. I tend to expect too much of myself, and I'm frustrated when I don't achieve what I set out to. I think I also tend to expect more from others than I should. By being reasonable, I think I will find myself happier and less frustrated in myself and others.
11) Do what I'm supposed to do and pat myself on the back for it. I can't be the only one out there that doesn't always eat like they should, or forgets to turn off the lights, or doesn't take the time to put things away. And when I do the things I'm supposed to, I want a check mark or a gold star. I want someone to notice and tell me good job. But people won't and they shouldn't have to for me to be happy.
12) Find a way to change what I dislike. This one is pretty self explanatory. If I don't like it, I need to fix it.
Hailey,
ReplyDeleteEnjoying your posts and glad you've found another rewarding opportunity to teach. It's been about 50 years since we learned about ADHD, in a negative way. I never thought of your grandfather. He has so many gifts. It is fortunate that today young people can discover that it is a part of their personality and can use it to enrich the world. Keep writing and sharing so much.