Okay, before you panic and think I've gone totally off the deep end with the post title, let me explain. That comes from a show called Bunheads, which was made by the same person who created Gilmore Girls, but never reached the same level of popularity. In it, a Vegas showgirl marries a man from a small coastal town on a whim and travels back with him to his home town. Less than a week into their marriage, he is killed in a freak car accident, and rather than return to Vegas, she opts to stay and teach at her mother in law's dance studio. The fact that is was cancelled is completely beyond me, but no one bothered to ask for my opinion. Moving on, though really I'm still not over it, especially since it ended on a cliff hanger.
In one episode, she pulls out a bag which she calls her "Zombie Apocalypse Vegas Slut Bag", which she says would help her survive anything from Vegas to the Zombie Apocalypse. I feel that every woman needs a survival kit of sorts, so I thought I'd tell you what should go into that of a farmer's granddaughter.
- A small memento, to always remind her who she is.
- A good pair of backup socks. Blisters=bad, and if she's running from anything, it's probably a good idea to have them.
- A shotgun, not so much to protect herself, but her animals.
- A lighter, or matches, in case the need for fire arises.
- Hair ties. It's not a vanity thing. She can't stand to have hair in her face and shaving it, while appealing at times, on the whole sounds like it might be cold.
- A hoof pick. Every horse woman knows the power of a hoof pick.
- Vet wrap. This works as an ace wrap and as bandaids. Just in case of injury.
- A comfortable pillow. A girl has to sleep.
- Duct tape. Essential for the farm life.
- A really sturdy pair of gloves. Ones that will protect her hands from briars, baling twine, and all other essentials.
- A baseball cap. Cowboy hats are over the top in 99% of cases. She lives in a baseball cap.
- Baling twine. In the farm world, if she has a roll of duct tape and a length of baling twine, she can fix just about anything.
- A broken in pair of jeans. Dirt optional.
- A good knife. Well cared for and sharpened.
- A pad of blank paper, just in case she needs to write something down.
- A flashlight, to see through the dark nights and early mornings.
- A good camera, to preserve the moments.
- A string of pearls, to appropriately dress up any look.
- Hot sauce to keep things spicy.
- A good book for when she has a few minutes of down time.
- A helmet. Because a farmer's granddaughter guards her head and her heart.
- A good leather cleaner, for keeping her tools in good repair.
- A few peppermints for her favorite horse.
- An awesome sports bra. Support is no joke.
- Fly spray to keep bugs away from herself and her horse.
- A homemade quilt, stitched with love.
- The knowledge that she is enough, that what she is doing is worth the trouble, and that those that matter love her unconditionally.
What would be in your Zombie Apocalypse Vegas Slut Bag?